What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Did you become a cuckold for your wife?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I’ve a dismissive avoidant partner who said that he’s overwhelmed by our relationship and that he wants to break up, how do I get him back?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What does it mean when you dream that your mother died?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

If I get served by someone else's papers, am I legally required to inform the person that they got served, or the court that they served the wrong person?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do I sweat so much? I’m 17 but I feel like I always need to re-apply deodorant and I am always self-conscious that I smell because I feel sweat under my arms.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

TEXT:

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What are some sex stories from your college days?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Are there many people here who suffer from schizophrenia?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I read this: "Putin is a brilliant, courageous, ingenious, determined, beloved, and incredible modern leader. He is currently the world’s most effective and strong leader, the best the world has seen in centuries." What do you think about this?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!