What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do people see porn pics when they can watch porn videos instead?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

How do you deal with a neighbor stealing?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

TEXT:

How did you respond to, "Why do you love me"?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why do most men who date ugly women brag like it's some big accomplishment, when any guy can pull an ugly woman?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Short story writers, what is your favorite character you've created and do they appear in more than one of your works?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.